The host for the episode is George Carlin, and the musical guests are Billy Preston and Janis Ian. The skits for this episode are as follows: an ESL teacher gives increasingly bizarre sentences to his student, who repeats his every word; until the teacher suffers a fatal heart attack, and the student dutifully acts out an identical "death". New Dad Insurance offers bereaved families a new father to take the place of their deceased one. A distraught rape victim in a courtroom describes the attacker's words in writing, which then confuses an inattentive jurist. Andy ...

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The host for the episode is Paul Simon, and the musical guests are Randy Newman and Phoebe Snow. The skits for this episode are as follows: former Chicago Seven member Billy Rubin pitches graffiti wallpaper. The Bees are informed by Paul Simon that their skit has been cut from this week's show. Albert Brooks presents a film of failed Candid Camera-style stunts. A mock commercial demonstrates the strength of Try-Hard batteries in a head-to-head contest powering pacemakers. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports about President's Ford's car accident and Muhammad...

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The host for the episode is Rob Reiner, but there is no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: a man in a wheelchair inadvertently discovers he can walk, but is unable to repeat the miraculous feat. Rob Reiner performs a number of lounge-singer acts. The National Pancreas Association stresses the importance of taking good care of your pancreas. Rob Reiner, together with his wife Penny Marshall, honors some of the more popular fashion faux-pas. The Golden Needles voodoo acupuncture technique offers healing without surgery. Andy Kaufmann sings along ...

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The host for the episode is Candice Bergen, and the musical guest is Esther Phillips. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford gives an accident-laden introduction to the show. Candice Bergen is interrupted during her monologue by one of the Bees. A commercial informs viewers of the opportunities for wealth by becoming an ambassador. A man demanding to see his CIA file is faced with a seemingly insurmountable pile of disarray. A special on intelligent animals profiles the dangerous land shark. A gay man has fond memories of dressing in his mother's ...

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The host for the episode is Robert Klein, and the musical guests are ABBA and Loudon Wainwright III. The skits for this episode are as follows: Sherry wins the Miss America beauty pageant, but refuses to accept the honor. Two men discuss the results of their latest mid-term exam while playing Pong. One of the Bees delivers an inspirational message for the Bicentennial about moments in Bee history. An interviewer asks Greg Allman about his love life, but Allman keeps trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. Director Sam Peckinpah describes his vision to a new ...

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The host for the episode is Lily Tomlin, but there is no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford attempts to speak to the American people while also answering the phones, and manages to hit his head and tumble over his desk. Beethoven, struggling to come up with a new symphony, creates "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," "My Girl" and "What'd I say?". The Land shark continues to prey on unsuspecting apartment dwellers, but just before the shark hunters can catch it, they are told to cut the skit short. A bellboy at the Atlanta Hotel is shocked to ...

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The host for the episode is Richard Pryor, and the musical guest is Gil Scott-Heron. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris tricks Chevy Chase into taking a bad fall during a skit. Richard Pryor does an opening monologue about why he doesn't drink or take LSD. A man checks into a hotel managed by a samurai who speaks no English. A black author talks about his latest book in which he disguises himself as white. A woman tries to identify her attacker from a series of stacked line-ups. An interview for a job using word association turns racially tense....

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The host for the episode is Candice Bergen (her second appearance), and the musical guests are Martha Reeves and The Stylistics. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford delivers a special message for Christmas and falls out of a tree. An ad for a restaurant where customers can choose their cow, kill it and butcher it. A boy calls home from the police station to tell his parents he's killed 26 people. Candice Bergen invites people to send home movies to NBC, then shows her own movie of herself ice skating with the Bees. A young man comes out of the ...

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The host for the episode is Elliott Gould, and the musical guest is Anne Murray. The skits for this episode are as follows: A quartet of dead musicians perform a piece. Elliott Gould sings during his opening monologue. Gilda Radner and Elliott profess their love for each other through the course of the show and get married. A housewife is caught off guard when a couple of workmen come to destroy her home. The Godfather talks about his feelings about the Tattaglia family in a group therapy session. A commercial presents Shimmer, a combination floor wax and dessert ...

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The host for the episode is Buck Henry, and the musical guests are Bill Withers, Toni Basil and The Blues Brothers. The skits for this episode are as follows: A suicide hot-line operator tries and fails to prevent a caller from killing himself. Buck Henry gives a self-effacing speech during the opening monologue, while notices superimposed on the screen tell the real story. A man orders a sandwich at a restaurant run by a samurai. President Ford learns of a new campaign strategy to make him look more intelligent. A speed-reading course is presented that helps people ...

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The hosts for the episode are Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and the musical guest is Neil Sedaka. The skits for this episode are as follows: A bomb squad is called in to investigate a mysterious package, but unfortunately does not defuse it in time. A casting director for a new Tarzan movie is faced with an aspiring actor auditioning for the lead role, despite having one leg. A maximum-security prison holds auditions for a production of Gigi, in which several of the inmates perform songs they've prepared. Don Pardo presents a luxury vacation plan from inside an ...

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The host for the episode is Dick Cavett, and the musical guest is Jimmy Cliff. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris uses voodoo to get Chevy to fall down. Commercials attempt to draw students into The Dick Cavett School of Auto Refinishing and The Dick Cavett School of Hydroplane Operation. An accounting firm talks about just how far they'll go to lower their customers' tax bills. Dick Cavett does his version of "Our Town" about New York City, a swell place where crime is rampant and nothing works. Betty Ford gives a personal advice talk where she...

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The host for the episode is Peter Boyle, and the musical guest is Al Jarreau. The skits for this episode are as follows: A restaurant customer in 1929 Chicago asks the waiter to park his car for him, sending the man into the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Peter Boyle sings a love song to his girlfriend for the opening monologue, oblivious to the fact that she's making out with another man. The Samurais decide to get divorced and must go about splitting their assets, as well as dividing custody of their daughter. Three little girls lip-sync a Natalie Cole song. A pair ...

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The host for the episode is Desi Arnaz, and the musical guest is Desi Arnaz, Jr. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford receives a word-association test from his psychiatrist that ends with him falling over. Desi Arnaz gives his opening monologue, in which he thanks the cast for the special cigars they gave him. Prisoner Ruben Carter talks about how he gets recognized in prison now because of his National Express card. A man receives consoling from his friends when his 40th birthday doesn't go as he had hoped. Vampire Luciana Vermicelli shares her ...

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Guest host Jill Clayburgh plays a crusading guidance counselor. Great Moments in Herstory celebrates women. Mr. Bill makes his first appearance. Leon Redbone and Andy Kaufman add to the fun.

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The host for the episode is Anthony Perkins, and the musical guest is Betty Carter. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase delivers a long and rambling monologue in which he berates critics who claim the cast deliberately wastes time to fill up a 90-minute time slot. In his opening monologue, Anthony Perkins attempts to dispel the common perception that he is creepy, only to finish by eating a fly. President Ford shares his thoughts on marijuana usage. A new dominatrix cleaning service tries to whip lazy housewives into shape. Norman Bates pitches his ...

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The host for the episode is press secretary to President Ford Ron Nessen, and the musical guest is Patti Smith. The skits for this episode are as follows: The opening act features a return of the dead string quartet. Ron Nessen's opening monologue includes a message from the actual President Ford. An ad for the Bass o' Matic promises a new way for viewers to enjoy bass. Nessen asks the president for permission to appear on a new comedy show, then briefs his boss on his daily schedule. A string of jam advertisers pitch products with increasingly disgusting names, since...

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Lorne Michaels tries to lure the Beatles onto the show. Baba Wawa makes her first appearance.

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The host for this episode is Madeline Kahn, and the musical guest is Carly Simon. The skits for this episode are as follows: Ronald Reagan attempts to demonstrate that he's in tune with modern black culture, only to get punched out by the musician he keeps inadvertently insulting. A preview for the upcoming series, Wilderness Comedian, presents a man who does stand-up comedy for animals. Baba Wawa attempts to interview Marlene Dietrich, but neither can understand what the other is saying. At a slumber party, several girls are disgusted by the thought of how babies are...

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The host for the episode is Dyan Cannon, and the musical guests are Leon & Mary Russell. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase, lying on his back after a tremendous fall, is informed that the control room clock was running fast and he'll have to do it all again to get it on air. During her opening monologue, Dyan Cannon confesses to a lifelong dream of being swept off her feet by a man on a white horse, and during the rest of the show, different male cast members attempt to re-interpret its meaning to make themselves her dream man. A woman takes a ...

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The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his second appearance), and the musical guest is Gordon Lightfoot. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase announces that because he broke his ankle accepting his Emmy Award, his fall will be done by Laraine Newman, but Laraine instead shoves him off the stage. Buck Henry is supposed to come on for his opening monologue, but is nowhere to be found; after a frantic search, the crew discovers that the security guards don't recognize him and won't let him in the building. Lounge singer Peter Lemon advertises a mood ...

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The host for the episode is Elliott Gould (his second appearance), and the musical guests are Leon Redbone (his second appearance), Harlan Collins and Joyce Everson. The skits for this episode include scenes inside a wax museum and a European poker player, as well as a presentation by Shirley Temple Black. Re-run ads inform viewers how they can join the fast-paced life of stand-by operators, and asks America to show their guns. A doctor warns a woman that she's been neglecting the proper care of her uvula. The crew of The Enterprise faces their final foe: network ...

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The host for the episode is Louise Lasser, and the musical guest is The Preservation Hall Jazz Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Belushi and Chevy Chase have an argument over how the opening to the show should be done. After Louise Lasser's opening monologue, General Idi Amin comes on to warn viewers about the importance of checking oneself for V.D., using himself as an example of the effects of advanced-stage syphilis. In a parody of Swedish films, a couple involved in a secret affair fool death by sending him out for a pizza. An advertisement ...

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The host for the episode is Kris Kristofferson, and the musical guest is Rita Coolidge. The skits for this episode are as follows: Kris Kristofferson sings "Help Me Make It Through The Night" after Chevy Chase falls out of bed, where he was with musical guest Rita Coolidge. After Kris' monologue, secretary Sherry Norwalk talks about how she got a job at SNL helping the writers come up with ideas by having sex with them. The Samurai general practitioner treats one of his patients. Jesse Owens presents a set of commemorative medals honoring white athletes. A clip from a...

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