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5x1 – Hoch lebe die Demokratie

Hank meets Presidential candidate George W. Bush at a rally and is unimpressed by his handshake, while Luanne registers to vote as a Communist.

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5x2 – Schluss mit lustig

Bobby works for Mr. Strickland as his golf caddy for the summer. Peggy and Minh race each other to see who can donate the most blood.

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5x3 – Mann-sein ist schwer

Puberty hits 12 year-old Joseph before it hits 13 year-old Bobby. Hank builds coffins for himself and Peggy.

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5x4 – Dreh die Auswahl

During the Thanksgiving season, John Redcorn tries to get closer to Joseph by teaching him about the plight of the Native Americans.

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5x5 – Peggy gegen den Rest der Welt

Peggy substitutes in the geometry class at Arlen High, where she attracts the ire of local businessmen for giving a failing grade to a star football player.

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5x6 – Die Veteranenparade

Cotton loses his home and must go back to work to support Didi and G.H.

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5x7 – Das schwere Los eines Maskottchens

Bobby attempts to achieve yearbook immortality by becoming the school mascot.

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5x8 – Es war der Irre vor Weihnachten

Bill opens a Santa Claus village at his house and annoys Hank by keeping it open well after Christmas.

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5x9 – Die Kakerlaken-Mami

Hank's truck is on its last wheels and he balks at the thought of getting a new truck, much to the chagrin of friends and family.

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5x10 – Auf der Jagd nach Bobby

Hank is a proud Texan, which is all about to change when Cotton reveals to him he was born in New York City.

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5x11 – Texaner sein ist schwer

When Bill forms a friendship with Former Texas Governor Ann Richards, his ex-wife Lenore returns.

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5x12 – Hosen runter!

After performing at a retirement home with his class, Bobby receives a ventriloquist's dummy from one of the residents there. Hank begrudgingly warms up to the idea, but Dale is deathly afraid of it due to a traumatic childhood experience.

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5x13 – Der Holzkopf

After a violent pimp shows up looking for her, Hank and Peggy unknowingly board a prostitute. Then they soon discover that Hank has been unwittingly "pimping" her all around town.

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5x14 – Zuhälter Hank

Dale can no longer work as an exterminator because the chemicals he uses have eroded his sinuses. Thus, he must get an office job.

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5x15 – Jungfrau Luanne

Luanne joins a church group to become a "born-again virgin," where Peggy reveals a shocking fact about her past.

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5x16 – Eine Hundehütte für Bobby

When Bobby develops an allergy to Ladybird's dander, Hank makes him live in the dog house he built for the dog who refuses to live in it.

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5x17 – Jugendsünden

Hank joins Bobby's science class in opposition to a plan to drain the quarry and put a landfill there, because it will reveal a practical joke which he, Dale, and Bill played on Boomhauer in high school.

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5x18 – Immer Ärger mit Gribbles

When Channel 83 replaces Nancy with Luanne as the weather lady, Dale concocts a scheme to sue a tobacco company to pay for a face lift for his wife.

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5x19 – Die Gesäß-Prothese

Hank must wear a prosthesis when he is diagnosed with Diminished Gluteal Syndrome.

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5x20 – Nieren-Boy und Hamster-Girl

Bobby pretends to be a high schooler with a congenital kidney disease that has stunted his growth. He later adds to the charade by claiming Connie has a vestigial tail.

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