The crew is working a special Alaskan cruise, wherein all the passengers are women who are vying for a date with Engelbert Humperdinck. The Captain (Gavin MacLeod) informs the crew that Julie (Lauren Tewes) got married and has left. So they get a new cruise director (Diane Ladd), whose a real terror. Julie's sister, Judy (Pat Klous) who just got divorced, goes on the cruise. Two men (Bert Convy and Arte Johnson), one of whom is the husband of the woman (Patty Duke) who organized the ladies' cruise, follows her because he fears that he is inadequate for her, so they pose as women; Doc's (Bernie Kopell) romance with Emily (Michelle Phillips) crumbles.

Part 1 of 2. While on a cruise in the Netherlands, Vicki (Jill Whelan) hooks up with a new crew member (Patrick Cassidy), who is being sought by Interpol. A man (Pat Harrington Jr.) who is with his wife (Eileen Brennan), discovers his mistress (Teri Copley) is also on the ship. The Captain (Gavin MacLeod) is taken with a woman (Elke Sommer) who, for some reason, tries to keep him at bay. And a woman (Cloris Leachman) meets a former lover (George Kennedy), who thinks she betrayed him but who doesn't remember her when they meet.

By rcs0411@yahoo.com: Conclusion. While on a cruise in the Netherlands, Vicki (Jill Whelan) hooks up with a new crew member (Patrick Cassidy), who is being sought by Interpol. A man (Pat Harrington Jr.) who is with his wife (Eileen Brennan), discovers his mistress (Teri Copley) is also on the ship. The Captain (Gavin MacLeod) is taken with a woman (Elke Sommer) who, for some reason, tries to keep him at bay. And a woman (Cloris Leachman) meets her former lover (George Kennedy), who thinks she betrayed him but who doesn't remember her when they meet.

Ace tries to impress an old flame by confronting himself with a boxing champion (Dick Butkus). A father has to deal with his dyslexic son.

Charming Tim goes on a rampage of bad behavior, thinking that good people die young; blind Millie reunites with college crush George. Undercover FBI agent Miles butters up bookie Jake's girl Honey to get the scoop on Jake's operation.

Gopher reconnects with a woman who once rejected his marriage proposal. A man with his own Guardian Angel discovers he has to make a personal sacrifice. An overprotective mother won't let her daughter date the man she wants.

On her 18th birthday, Vicky drinks too much champagne and learns of her dad's alcoholism. Using info from private detective John, Deborah finds her college beau Larry. Arthur tries to renew ties with ex-fiancee Ruth by faking amnesia.

April gets the whole crew in shape with her aerobics class, Captain orders. A reporter (Ralph Bellamy) believes that famous aviator Amelia Earhart is on board. A man bets $1 million that his brother will find love during the cruise.

Paula wants jewel thief Dave to retire, but he's after Martha's bling. Judy's friend Beth can't trust men after her divorce, but then meets Joe. Hal, engaged to one of Doc's ex-wives, studies Doc's every move to be a perfect spouse.

Depressed Judy falls for soft-spoken Mike, whom Gopher mistrusts. Missy plans an affair to even the score with husband Jack, who had an accidental affair. Workaholic consumer advocate Marvin balks when wife Carol considers taking a job.

Part 1 of 2. In London and Paris, a novelist (Lilli Palmer) keeps a tight rein on her daughter (Ana Alicia), who is attracted to a fellow passenger (Morgan Stevens); Judy's (Pat Klous) ex-husband (Marc Singer) tries to win her back; a woman (Loretta Swit) pay an English tart (Catherine Oxenberg) to test her husband's (Dennis Holahan) fidelity; a woman (Colleen Dewhurst) and her son (Peter Barton) are reunited with her actor husband (Trevor Howard).

Conclusion. In London and Paris, a novelist (Lilli Palmer) keeps a tight rein on her daughter (Ana Alicia), who is attracted to a fellow passenger (Morgan Stevens); Judy's (Pat Klous) ex-husband (Marc Singer) tries to win her back; a woman (Loretta Swit) pays an English tart (Catherine Oxenberg) to test her husband's (Dennis Holahan) fidelity; a woman (Colleen Dewhurst) and her son (Peter Barton) are reunited with her actor husband (Trevor Howard).

After years of marriage, Cheryl wants to stop being frugal. Eleanor got burned in a fast romance, so she throws cold water on sister Pat's fling with Peter. Energetic intern Kim rotates through shipboard jobs, but fails all of them.

Country music singer and songwriter Billy Boy Bodine (Matt McCoy) cruises with his manager Cappy (Claude Akins), who tries to come between Billy and adoring admirer Arlene Cort (Leah Ayres), because Billy writes his best music when he's depressed. Shipboard neighbors Simon Ashford (Farley Granger) and Valerie Frasier (Terry Moore) are interior designers engaged in cutthroat competition to win the contract to redecorate the ship, and will stop at nothing to sabotage each other. Doc (Bernie Kopell) enjoys a visit from his fraternity brother Buzz McLaine (Roy Thinnes), who travels with his cousin Jim Dolan (Michael McGrady). But things are not what they seem.

Judy, Gopher, and Isaac each hire a Santa, who don't get along and try to out-do each other. To placate her mother, a woman asks Ace to pose as her fiancé. A has-been comic finds his career resurrected by an abandoned dog.

A computer dating mix-up affects men named Shelley and Leslie. Isaac pretends to accept Lynda's self-help philosophy. A woman's husband sends another guy to substitute for him.

Gus and Donna test Ace to see if he is right to father their child; Annette and her daughter Susie vie for Gopher's company; Lyle and Barbara pose as newlyweds after being booked in the honeymoon suite.

Corporate bigwig John meets Marcy, without realizing they've met before. Gopher insists that people call him Burl but alienates his friends. New Mayor Frances falls for Phil, the city council president whom she beat in the election.

Part 1 of 2. A Scandinavian cruise on the Royal Viking Sky begins in London and travels through Oslo and Stockholm. Grant Cooper (John Davidson) is the VP of Promotions for the Midnight Sun suntan lotion and is seeking a native Scandinavian female to be the company spokesperson from dozens of applicants. Greta Lund (Christopher Norris) impersonates a native Scandinavian in hopes of winning. Lonely Mel Davis (Jack Klugman) thinks women don't like him because of his large nose, so he plans to get cosmetic surgery in Stockholm. But he meets Kay Webber (Susannah York) along the way and she falls in love with him but thinks ...

Conclusion: As the Scandinavian cruise continues, Grant (John Davidson) and Ace (Ted McGinley) go to Greta's (Christopher Norris) parents' home for a photo shoot with her. Kay (Susannah York) expresses concern to Doc (Bernie Kopell) about Mel's (Jack Klugman) operation. Dr. Fabian Cain (Telly Savalas) tries out Isaac's (Ted Lange) robot double in public, while the real Isaac goes on a romantic boat ride with Delia Parks (Janet Jackson). Gopher (Fred Grandy) leaves the cruise line to work with Helga (Priscilla Barnes).

Courier Arnold won't remove the briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. Irene can't understand daughter Sandy's hostility toward her stepfather Frank. Ace is sidelined with an injury, replaced by Kim, and nursed by passenger Lisa.

Paul thinks his Dad's birthday gift is call girl Misty. Nancy scorns her father Martin's shipboard fling with Lillian. Merrill fails Deirdre, who is testing for a Captaincy.

Marc charms Vicki, but Merrill frets about their age difference. Business partners Lou and Stan plan an insurance swindle. Bi-coastal TV personalities Jenn and Tom have been married six months but have spent no time together.

Judy is asked to sing in the cruise-line commercial. A daughter (Jessica Walter) fears her father might be senile. A husband (Barry Van Dyke) will do anything to win back his wife's love.

Ace meets an old girlfriend who is now in a wheelchair. A couple (Jimmie Walker, Telma Hopkins) take advantage of the cruise to quit smoking. A man and a woman hide that they are relatives (John Beck, Cathy Silvers).

Part 1 of 2. An British ex-military officer (Stewart Granger), escorting the singing sensation group, Menudo, is tired of a woman (Lana Turner), who lies; while a young couple (Jared Martin and Hayley Mills) is bewildered because Doc Bricker (Bernie Kopell) seems very much in love with his visiting ex-wife (Elizabeth Ashley), which Doc attributes is why they divorced; Vicki (Jill Whelan) falls for a young man (Timothy Patrick Murphy), who is continually pampered by his mother (Anne Baxter), who refuses to see him as anything other than a child; an employer (Andrew Stevens) is being set up for a sex-discrimination lawsuit by a woman (Linda Purl), who is disguised as a man.

A woman (Lana Turner) falls for the chaperone (Stewart Granger) of the boy band Menudo, a female job seeker (Linda Purl) poses as a man while on the ship, a couple (Jared Martin and Hayley Mills) reconsiders their relationship, and a teenage boy (Timothy Patrick Murphy) proposes to Vicki (Jill Whelan).